It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
