The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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