I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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