Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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