If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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