If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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