I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We have started to decorate penises.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
