hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
