After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
