i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
