I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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