We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
