My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
