he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
