I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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