His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
