Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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