my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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