you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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