Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
