i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
