how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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