Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
