I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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