Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
