just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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