don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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