i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
