remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
