Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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