I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
