life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
