Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
