ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
