Say something about gay babies.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
