fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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