Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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