I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
