This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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