names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
