This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
