Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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