hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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