Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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