I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
