Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we made out on top of his cat.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
