I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
