the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
