we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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