he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
